I wonder why I find it so difficult to equate the man who shook my hand with the man who has entertained me for years. I can recall hundreds of actual moments in his life. I can probably remember more specific sentences he’s spoken than he can. But he’s just a guy… with a nephew… If only we could all be best friends with our favorite comedian, musician, actor or athlete. There aren’t enough hours in a lifetime…

And now join me in the depths…

Without tossing around excuses OR taking any blame, I’d like to come clean and express disappointment regarding my NXNE showcase tonight. It was like walking backwards down an escalator without using the handrail. Once again I thank the good Lord for blessing humans with a knack for repetition. Muscle memory: my saving grace. XXX XX XXXXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX $$$ XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXX ‘XX XX X XXXXX XXXX XXX-XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXX XXX X XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX XX XXX XX XX XXXXX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXX! (<~ Edited for diplomatic reasons) It’s transferred unprofessionalism. I think I’ve had enough. Fool me once, etc…

To everyone who enjoyed the show, thank you very much for your encouragement. To everyone who didn’t enjoy the show but said nice things anyways, thank you very much for your encouragement but you don’t need to lie about my baby. I’ll make a prettier one soon and we can ignore the last.

***

I was fortunate enough to take part in the recent Ontario Council of Folk Festivals conference in Ottawa (Oct. 12-15 2006). While I felt that the ritzy hotel room I’d rented was wasted, I was overjoyed that the event afforded so many opportunities to mingle with the bigwigs. And how lucky for me that there was so little time to eat: I only spent $15 during the entire weekend!

Here are a few obscure tips I’d like to offer anyone jaded by previous experiences:

1) Pay for it with blood money.
*** Do something absolutely awful (like work 9-5) to scrounge up the ridiculous fees we’re expected to shell out for an event such as this. It’s easy to get grant support or to dip in to the band fund or to call on the ‘rents, but the more traumatizing the trade of your time for cash, the more likely you’ll be to refrain from snoozing in your hotel room until your showcase.

2) Offer free hugs to anyone and everyone.
*** I cannot stress this one enough (unless you’re creepy or stinky). Try to think of one person on the planet who wouldn’t accept a benevolent hug. It’s a great way to end an encounter and it’s an even better way to start one!

3) Present a defining characteristic.
*** Manufacture one if you have to. Glasses, hat, pigtails, funky shoes, a cape: find something memorable and stick with it throughout the event. With that in mind, maybe your “lucky t-shirt” should stay on the bathroom floor; let’s be hygienic here… Whatever you choose, the point is to make sure you’re unmistakable.

4) Go by yourself.
*** We all need somebody to lean on? Nope. Not at a music conference. Be lonely, be uncomfortable – just make sure you tug on that coat sleeve and follow the advice clearly stated in ..2. At the glamorous opening festivities it might be more calming to imagine munching crackers and cheese with your bass player, but committing yourself to a conversation with him just means you can’t show off the hunk of spinach caught between your teeth to the booking agent who’s trying to get your attention.

5) Relish (and record) the regrettable.
*** Perhaps this one is more obvious, but it’s still worth mentioning: You go it alone, you catch the eye of that elusive industry professional and, in making your way over to his side to offer him a free hug, you trip on your cape and gracefully fall flat on your face. Or maybe it’s that danged spinach again, peeking inelegantly from between your pearly whites, surreptitiously making an impression while you grin away. Yes these are awkward moments, yes a more charming approach might have been intended, but later, when following up with a delegate who has met hundreds of people in three days, the “in” provided by your gaffe is priceless. Consider your humiliation an investment in the future.

So there you are, five tried-and-true tips to ponder while you ride the elevator with the booking agent from overseas or the festival AD from down south. Of course you could always employ a more traditional approach and rely on hours of research about each panelist or on meetings you set up beforehand. But that’s not the way I roll…

Any other suggestions?

***

Please be aware that I take no responsibility for a strict adherence to these tips.

Well, here we go…

It was a real treat to hear Coco sing again:

Hey mommy, can I go outside again?
I haven’t been out to play since I can’t remember when.
Oh yeah, it was yesterday and the day before…
Can I go outside again?

A keen observation of childlike flakiness or a revealing look at forward-facing human nature? Probably both, but you don’t have to take my word for it… It’s so easy to hear Coco’s voice through her music; she is in every note and every word she brings to the stage, and even in the ones she makes up on the spot!

Thanks to everyone who came out to the show. There were a few blasts from the past (Mr. Friesen from Saskatoon, Bryan from my days busking in Winnipeg square) and so many friends that have been discouraged by my unfailing commitment to hermitude (hermitation? hermitdom?). And even though up to 15 years might have passed since I last saw these folks, no one failed to comment on my short short hair. I’ll try to get some nice pictures taken and posted, but until I get used to it, I’ll be hiding it under a cap!

And don’t bully me to take it off or you might make me cry… Or write a song about you…

In a bittersweet twist of fate, my darling vehicle Enjie is on the road again and I’ve been left behind. Darren and I had a last minute opportunity to score another film and while I was really looking forward to playing the Apollo again, I just couldn’t pass this up. The project should be finished up soon and we’ll be flying to Toronto on Monday afternoon to join up with Coco and Simon for the London show that night. I’m so grateful for these gifts of busy-ness (and for my parents who still lend me their credit card to book flights even though I’m older than I look…).

So, two plus two: Darren/Cat + Simon/Coco on an extended double date. Or Cat/Coco + Darren/Simon on a portable, and hopefully profitable, commercial venture. We’ll see how the dynamic is born and raised. I’m excited to be travelling with so many people that I enjoy so much, but you never know what stuffing them all into 100 cubic feet will do.

Please keep us in your thoughts as we noodle around southern Ontario.

THE LAUDING
I was being recognized for composing the Best Original Score for Joel Veenstra’s FREE OF CHARGE (directed by Robert Kirbyson), a short film playing at the 168 Hour Film Festival. It was like being paid twice for something you’d volunteered to do: offered free inspiration one minute, and congratulations the next. The surefire way to get that ink a-flowing is to write straight from someone else’s heart.

THE JUDGE
Now I understand that this festival is somewhat off the radar up here and so it falls on me to convey the magnitude of this honor in order to justify my tremendous gratitude. Therefore, do not judge me for blatant name-dropping, I’m just doing my job. I am not aware of the identity of every panelist, but one in particular has been made known and that is Ralph Winter, producer of several major motion pictures including Fantastic Four and X-men. And that’s enough for me.

THE COMPETITION
We all know that it’s no fun to win a punching competition against a swarm of children (unless of course you’re a child yourself, or a very mean person); Goliath would not have been praised had he beaten the boy. This was the soundtrack scene and I was the green musician and they were the wise old souls. Carl Rydlund, for example, was the orchestrator on such films as Chocolat, Panic Room and 50 First Dates. And Bryan E. Miller has created music for Honda, the Hyatt hotels, Kodak and Yamaha, among many others. I was no Goliath.

THE RESULT
I had always looked forward to the day when my broken accordion would have better company on the shelf than the phallic statue my friend brought home from Korea. That day has come.

THE GRATITUDE
Thank you Joel and Rob. Thank you Grit Multimedia. Thank you 168 Hour Film Festival. Hi mom.