Cat Jahnke Mews

9/30/07 – Day Off, Calgary

Would you rather have the big luck or the little luck? Big luck: Great job but you always drop things? Or little luck: Crappy relationship but you never miss a green light?

I’m pretty sure I’m blessed with the first. I love what I do. I love my friends. I have a great family. I feel supported and cared for and in the broad sense of it, my life is awesome. BUT, every once in a while I get struck by this strange luck.

Often it involves weather (blizzards coming out of nowhere on the day of an important show, rain following me around) but more recently it has involved the unexpected closure of each and every restaurant I appeal to for nourishment. We got a taste of this in Lloydminster but we chalked in up to a worker shortage. Surely it wasn’t my presence that caused Pizza-73’s number to ceaselessly ring, or the Cheers restaurant to have closed five minutes before we made our final menu decisions. Family Pizza, Boston Pizza, Panago, the list goes on…

We left those coincidences behind us and traveled on to Calgary to enjoy a much needed day off. Our fine hosts Adelee and Rod had prepared a scrumptious meal of stuffed green peppers before remembering that Darren is a picky brat and won’t eat them. No worries, there was a yummy veggie casserole for Plan B. Unfortunately it had mushrooms in it, another delicious food Darren refuses to consume… (Meanwhile Cat’s mouth is salivating profusely just thinking about it!)

So on to Plan C. Indian food from their favorite restaurant, part of their usual Sunday schedule. Ring! Ring! Ring! ad infinitum. Now this is really a waste because it takes me forever to decide what suits my palate at any given moment. After several more unsuccessful attempts, we decide to go with Plan D.

Their favorite Thai place is another restaurant that has served them well in the past. Before making our choices we discuss our previous luck in Lloydminster, joking that our fortune has the power to close down the entire food industry. On the phone again to the Thai place and this time our efforts are rewarded by a recorded message stating that the restaurant will be closed on Sundays until further notice.

???

I love food. I love eating. I love going out to eat amazing food. But I feel it is my duty to report my track record and let potential restaurants decide for themselves whether they would like me to be within 100 feet of their establishment.

9/29/07 – Full Of Beans, Irricana

Once again the crowd in Irricana brings out the best in me. I don’t even know what I can legally say about what happened this evening. There was booze, there was debauchery, there was a midnight break-in into the local fire hall… Oops. I might have said too much!

We arrived at Full Of Beans two hours early and only started a half hour late. It might have been Dan’s cute baby who sang along with my sound check. It might have been the five dozen t-shirts that needed sorting and folding. It might have been the fact that just as I was preparing to get started I noticed a familiar face in the back of the room…

Twice now in the past few months my sister has showed up several hundred kilometers away from where I would expect her to be. Each time my jaw muscles get a hardy workout. I was glad she was there to party with the rest of the Irricaners, but I was sad that she was a witness to my foul mouth and the crude response it incited from the crowd. And that she could go home and tell my mother what a bad girl I was being…

Then I found out that my Elvis-inspired, sexual-connotation-laden coming-of-age ditty was a favorite with my father.

Well Irricana, thanks for the rum. Thanks LESS for the strawberry milk tequila.

A most meaningful segment of the evening: a toast to buying my CDs…

Darren was hoping I was the kind of chick who got a kick out of a man in uniform.
I just wonder how he’d carry all my crap with that axe in his hand.

Cat = 100 lbs
Firefighter’s Gear = 100 lbs
Who ya got?

Unfortunately (and honestly) this is one of the
only pictures of the two of us. Christmas card?

9/28/07 – Muddy Waters, Edmonton

I’m sure that many road-weary travelers experience the same
wave of dismay that washes over my entire being whenever this
sign crosses my field of vision.
I just thought I’d share the distress…

We got stopped at the border…

As promised I include here, for your very much wish fulfillment, my unfaltering course of fitness which guarantees results while minimizing discomfort.

9/27/07 – Ernie’s Coffee House

Darren set up a passenger seat office today. Unfortunately there were no bobble-headed desk trinkets to spruce up the bucket-seat cubicle (if you use that for a band name you better credit me!) but he made do. I was less of a trooper. I’ve got to get me some of these because my eye balls do not like driving directly into the sun.

Darren’s executive office – What a view!

I’m so grateful to venues like Ernie’s Coffee House that take SUCH GOOD CARE of their guests. Corwin, Carrie and 12-year-old Brindin were AWESOME! Brindin showed us the dance moves he’s learning in hiphop class after helping Darren lug in all my heavy gear. We really gave him a workout today!

Little Chloe also entertained the crew during intermission by jamming out a ditty on the piano. I remember fondly the days of my youth when any piano or piano-like object acted as a super magnet! There was little that could keep me from that bench… Chloe also drew me an absolutely awesome drawing which I include here with permission from the artist.

She told me that she’d started tracing my face on the back of the postcard but
was unsatisfied with the work. She also told me that she drew my heart for me…

I’m writing from the living room portion of the Evergreen Room here at the Hospitality Inn. Holy smokes! Jacuzzi, steam shower, plasma screen tvs, bath salts! vanity kits!!! It’s just too bad that I’ll only be here for a total of 12 hours. This place is bigger than my old apartment!

Funky Hospitality Inn logo… I really get a kick out of it!

The Evergreen Room has a self-titled plack! Plaque?
(Then how do you spell cheque?)

I asked the butler to leave the room because he was blocking my shot of our suite.
He joined the maid in the kitchen and later brought us ice cream sundaes in bed.

This place is so fancy that I don’t even know how to use the Do Not Disturb sign.

Seriously though, Lloydminster’s gotta think about getting some late-night food establishments. There was no room service offered at the hotel so we thought we’d get something delivered. It took us an hour of phoning to realize that we’d be better off taking matters into our own hands. But even Boston Pizza’s closed here at 11?! Thank goodness for the stamina of the employees at a Tim Horton’s down the street.

Join us tomorrow when I reveal my ingenious plan to get fit without even trying. This is not a joke. I have a great idea. You’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it before!

9/26/07 – Turk’s Coffee House, Prince Albert, SK

OK. Here we go again. I think I made it halfway through my last tour blog before the posts became sporadic. And by sporadic I mean

If you were to ask any of my close friends how they would describe me, and if you assured them that absolute honesty was necessary, I have no doubt that each and every one of them would mention something about how I’m always late. Most often it’s harmless and they forgive me quickly for leaving them to wait. Today I’m embarrassed…

It is 7:30 pm in Saskatchewan and I’m due to play in Prince Albert at 8 pm. I am 250 kilometers away. Thankfully the venue owner Rick is a cool cat and will take advantage of my tardiness by offering a drink special to the few who (hopefully!!) stay until I arrive. How did this happen?!

The last few days have been nearly more than my body can take: preparing to leave for tour, falling in love with a sewing machine and doing my best to provide some “fair trade” options for merch sales, recording a Christmas album that will be with me on the road, and trying trying trying to get some quality time in with the kids before I say goodbye for a month. Several things have been neglected in order to make that happen: eating, sleeping and bathing.

Yuck.

At 8 am this morning I was catching the only winks I’d get all night, crashed out on the floor of our isolation booth while Darren finished mastering the Christmas tunes. Needless to say, less than restful. Unfortunately my moniker doesn’t come with any perks, like the ability to stretch out on a rug in a sunbeam and recharge within minutes.

Up, packed, loaded, gassed, on the road. Awesome. Then the exhaustion set in. We were several precious kms away from home when we realized that a crucial element of the album (we’d killed ourselves to complete) had been forgotten when the songs were bounced. That warranted a rapid homecoming. All right – re-bounced and checked and double-checked and thrown up onto the server in case of emergency. Away we go.

We were several even MORE precious kms away from home when we realized that we had also forgotten to pack my microphone. It was still back in our studio, plugged in as the talk-back mic. (Apparently brains work better when they’re fed and rested.) Homeward bound once more, and now several hours late.

When it comes to gigs, I’m sure that I have left some promoters a little short of breath, but I always arrive in the nick of time. (A trick I learned from my bass player – thanks Patrick!) But if Rick’s holding his breath now, he’s a goner. Let’s hope I’m as playfully nervous after the show has hit the fan…

BEAUTIFUL sky today and I would have loved to share it here. Unfortunately it did not translate on our outdated camera – Darren astutely offered that taking a picture of a sunset is like taking a picture of a comedian and showing it to people to prove that the fella/lady was funny – so instead I present a piece entitled Glints Off The Carcasses.

***

Wow. Artists: if you want to play to a great crowd, go to PA!

I arrived at Turk’s Coffee House and some boys were playing guitar, jamming in the corner. People were chatting, clapping, drinking coffee. I show up with 17 loads of gear and trample all over their nice, quiet evening.

It was getting late, and as people were trickling out during our setup I was concerned that our rushing and anxiety and expenditure of our few remaining nonessential calories on lugging would go to waste. I was SO wrong!! This was the perfect way to start a tour. Great people, great room, great host, great sound gear. Despite my lack of sleep, my lack of food, and my obvious “car make-up” I had an amazing evening. Thanks so much to Rick and Nathan for having me play. I can’t wait to come back!!

After the show I spoke with Becky. She is taking environmental biology in university. She told me some pretty disgusting things. Check this out:

“The Migratory Bird Program, which monitors the health of bird populations, has seen its budget cut by 50 percent;” he said, “and the budget for the National Wildlife Areas, a program that protects nationally significant habitats for wildlife and birds, has been slashed from $1.9 million to zero.”

Now I don’t claim to be educated on the reasons WHY this would seem like a good idea, so if anyone out there has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know. I’m glad I’m so tired or I’d be too riled up to sleep.

Speaking of migrating birds, today we saw an absolute HURRICANE of fluttery goodness. The most impressive photo I took (which wasn’t much to begin with) was ruined even further by my curiosity. I pressed a button to “enhance” the photo and it saved the changes permanently. Yah, I definitely think all those red dots are an improvement. I think you can still get the gist of the tidal wave of geese.