Cat Jahnke Mews

Growing up as a doctor’s daughter I was accustomed to grateful patients obviously demonstrating their appreciation to him in tangible ways. There were always more presents for dad under the tree at Christmastime. It was clear by their actions that his charges cared a great deal for their doctor.

In fact, while I was in high school I volunteered at a thrift shop and during one memorable coffee break I popped into the lounge while some elderly ladies were discussing their health. They each insisted that their doctor was the best and even confessed to having a wee crush on him. Turns out they were all talking about the same man: my dad!! What an uncomfortable coincidence!

In any case, I was proud of my father and became used to the idea that doctors were all nice people who genuinely wanted to help. I would rage at folks complaining about the medical profession in general: impersonal analysis, insensitive conduct, and just plain malice. Doctors, it seemed, weren’t allowed to have bad days.

Then I came to Winnipeg. For years now I’ve been searching for a doctor who had the time to listen to and track a history, a creative doctor who treated the patient and not just the symptoms. I’ve been repeatedly disappointed.

Of course there have been the few who have stood out and made me feel safe and cared for. But for the most part, a universal boredom seems to have taken over the offices I’ve visited and I’m left wondering if it is a question of overworked physicians coping with a paranoid public, or just plain indifference.

Today, however, my spirits were buoyed. I had been dreading my early appointment. Not only was it at my usual bedtime (8:45 am) and therefore challenging to attend, but it was regarding an issue that, while not life-threatening, was still upsetting. Curiously, I have never felt more soothed by a so-so diagnosis. My doctor was gentle, compassionate and sensitive.

It’s easy to stare at the negatives, and I think we are all on our toes waiting for criticism. I once called a restaurant after having food delivered to tell them how delicious it was. I kept saying, “It was so good! Sooo good!” The man, distressed, said, “The food was no good?” “No!” I said, “SO good!” He was confused by my compliment, expecting no feedback but complaints.

I am thankful for the opportunity today to feel wrong about my recent disillusionment regarding a potential trend in our health care system. I’m sure I will be frustrated again, but right now is good. And so I’m off to eat a bushel of apples…

I was tossing my disc with the kids today when a HUGE dog came streaking across the field toward one of the little ones. It was terrifying! What can you do?! Fortunately it was just being mischievous, trained to follow the Frisbee, but we didn’t know. I’m very glad we weren’t playing baseball because I would hate to be responsible for a sudden combination of adrenaline and wooden bat. That would break my heart. And potentially some tiny kneecaps…

Still, dog-lovers – if you’re taking your “sociable” pet to a school playground, and it can knock over (or scare the pee out of) a child, KEEP IT ON THE LEASH!!!! I’m very very grateful that no one was hurt, that no animals were injured during the course of my afternoon, but my absolute favorite disc was chewed to pieces. I’ve made people wade into rivers to get my disc back to me! The last I saw of this one, it was still in the dog’s mouth. It was a sad goodbye…

Seriously though, if you can’t control your dog please don’t set it loose near any innocent bystanders. Besides folks being afraid (or annoyed), some are deathly allergic. Hives don’t care how cute your dog is.

P.S. I don’t mean to sound controversial. For the record, I love animals. I just love my stepson breathing more.

Highs and lows today, guys. Highs and lows. Dave Foley had his arm around me earlier this evening while his lovely sister-in-law, Barb, directed the spontaneous photo-shoot. I was instructed to pose a la Sarah Jessica Parker (one foot in front of the other, boobs out, fake smile) and Dave did his best enthusiastic gay husband face. Unfortunately the first one didn’t turn out and I think he tired of the game by pic 2. I’ll have to work on my charm.

I wonder why I find it so difficult to equate the man who shook my hand with the man who has entertained me for years. I can recall hundreds of actual moments in his life. I can probably remember more specific sentences he’s spoken than he can. But he’s just a guy… with a nephew… If only we could all be best friends with our favorite comedian, musician, actor or athlete. There aren’t enough hours in a lifetime…

And now join me in the depths…

Without tossing around excuses OR taking any blame, I’d like to come clean and express disappointment regarding my NXNE showcase tonight. It was like walking backwards down an escalator without using the handrail. Once again I thank the good Lord for blessing humans with a knack for repetition. Muscle memory: my saving grace. XXX XX XXXXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX $$$ XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXX ‘XX XX X XXXXX XXXX XXX-XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXX XXX X XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX XX XXX XX XX XXXXX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXX! (<~ Edited for diplomatic reasons) It’s transferred unprofessionalism. I think I’ve had enough. Fool me once, etc…

To everyone who enjoyed the show, thank you very much for your encouragement. To everyone who didn’t enjoy the show but said nice things anyways, thank you very much for your encouragement but you don’t need to lie about my baby. I’ll make a prettier one soon and we can ignore the last.

Surely I have some sympathetic readers out there. Surely I’m not the only one who can get uncomfortably intoxicated by one shot of alcohol sipped delicately over half an hour. Surely I’m not the only one who succumbs so easily to peer pressure!

I’ve had eager audiences before, but tonight was the night I experienced the first organized chant. At first I was confused… “More Rock! More Rock!” was what I heard. I was wondering what they were expecting from a tiny gal with an acoustic guitar.

But then it became clear: “More RUM! More RUM!!” And I obliged… Slowly.

Still, after an unexpected encore, I found it more agreeable to sit rather than stand. I was saying things more jubilantly than intended. I was drawing robot roosters on my set list for a mock auction, but ultimately gave in and illustrated my “Electric Cock Song” in a more explicit fashion.

And so my secret is out. I’m a dangerously cheap date.

For a good time, call ANYONE IN IRRICANA!!!

P.S. For anyone interested in the final Canadian Tire buck tally, I’m sorry to say that you will be disappointed. Unfortunately I didn’t run into as many of those gas kiosks as I had hoped. When you’re coasting into town it’s hard to be choosy. (Perhaps someone would like to map out a route for my next tour which takes into account CT locations?) Thanks to everyone who rooted for me and who helped to make my dream come true… Hi Mom!

It would be helpful if my will more often accomodated my ambition. I had fully intended to visit a local park, toss the disc, get some exercise, but I saw very little sunlight today.

I don’t need an independent study to let me in on the fact that getting off one’s ass is better. If there were a medium to bet on human life expectancy, no one would wage five cents on the couch potato. So why do I sit so much?

Why do people smoke so much? Why do we carry grudges for so long? Why do we stay up so late at night?

There are foolproof ways to easily raise our quality of life. But exercise and vices in moderation and forgiveness and a regular sleep pattern all take commitment. And like I said before, my will is weak.

Hmmm… Maybe there’ll be an informercial on later tonight that will sell me a pill to solve all my problems…

Thanks to the amazing folks at Mocha Cabana for hosting me this evening. The enclosed patio was beautiful and the blankets made it cozy. And even though I was surrounded by four walls, the omitted ceiling allowed me to get that fresh air I had aspired to breathe!