April 2007


How often do you hear the same topic discussed on various media and get freaked out by the coincidence… A while ago my recurring themes were squid, Waco and being deaf. What does it all mean?

Can someone complete the puzzle for me? What is the connection between squid/calamari/cuttlefish, the unfortunate series of events at Waco in 1993 and hearing impairment/the Deaf community/sign language? My brain is getting worn out trying to piece together any reason why these ideas should be pushed to the forefront simultaneously and repeatedly.

When I first saw the film “I (heart) Huckabees” I was confused by the main character’s curiosity regarding his frequent chance meetings with one particular stranger. I couldn’t understand why he found it troubling instead of amusing. But now I see the light!

It feels strange to be inundated by the same three random things – things that wouldn’t normally enter in to my daily spectrum of standard thought. But perhaps that is exactly why they were noticed: because they stuck out. Or perhaps I was just paying close attention for those few days and was blessed by a short-lived heightened awareness.

I don’t think this phenomenon would be so disturbing if it only occurred every now and then. A brief intermission between barrages would allow normalcy to return and my repertoire of reflections to center itself around the familiar once more. But then last week it happened to me again!

I kept hearing about bunnies and eggs. It was really weird.

Well, happy easter everyone!

For a long time I thought that Pessimism was my Optimism. I was never disappointed. But then a hitch: what could I do with results that were even worse than I had expected? How could I accept a human response that was far darker than I had anticipated?

Perhaps you can relate. There’s nothing like close quarters or a financial transaction or a life-or-death emergency to bring out the demons in those around you. It’s like standing on that glass floor and realizing you’re afraid of heights; you need a crisis to bring it out.

And when you love someone, or like someone, or at least sense a goodness in someone, and they let you down or take advantage or at least behave counter-productively in that crisis, it can be a stake through your heart. It can be defining. It can be the end of something you’d imagined would be infinite.

I gave up the saccharrine image of the glass being half-full to embrace the bittersweet safety of a beverage in decline. I was prepared for the worse, but not the worst. So maybe the vessel is really too small and my “half-empty” is actually drops in a bucket.

Bottom Line: People = Shit, and they can always sink lower than you would expect.

FYPB!

P.S. D-Bot and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary today. This is not about him. As I mention below – when he pisses me off he gets a song, not a blog…

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